The Miracle of Solitude: Embracing the Hermit Year
The past year, for me, was an absolute whirlwind of vibrant color and sound. What else would one expect, when one’s life becomes a Circus? Literally.
Every moment was structured, dictated by a strict and frequently-shifting schedule, and so many hours were spent on stage, either performing or getting ready to perform. Physically, I have never worked so hard in my life - the demands of the show were intense, and at the end of every show, it felt like we had given our all (especially on the multiple-show days).
And then, unexpectedly, it was over. That whirling dervish of the senses felt like a distant dream.
When I returned home, the landscape of my life had drastically changed. I was living alone again, apart from my sweet kitty boys, and my space didn’t feel like it was mine anymore. So much had happened there, both with me there and with me not there, and I could feel a lingering energy of darkness. So much so, that I considered bringing in a priest.
I won’t go into detail as to what the past handful of years had been, but I will say this: I had abandoned myself.
I hadn’t stood up for myself, truly. I hadn’t listened to my intuition, and I had allowed myself to be gaslighted and manipulated on several fronts. I had given in to silent despair, and felt very powerless.
My work life looked completely different, as well. Jobs that had been a staple in my life before leaving were gone, and wouldn’t be coming back. After having played country music almost exclusively for years, pretty much since moving to Texas, then playing in a traveling country show, I was now facing a future without country music in it. New opportunities led me in new musical directions, and it felt pretty surreal.
My time in the circus had done so much to shake up my life, both inwardly and outwardly. It was the miracle that got me UP and OUT. It had helped me reconnect to my Inner Child, and also helped restore so much of my self esteem. It was the first time I felt like I truly belonged in a group of people: the quirky and artsy circus folk. It was The Divine Shake-Up.
But when it was over, what then?
At first, it felt like a barren wasteland. It was so lonely.
In the stillness of my life back at home, as I slowly pieced the pieces back together, there was silence; in that silence, I felt a whole host of different emotions. Fear, anger, and sadness were at the forefront. Remembering things that had happened, and having frequent flashbacks, I found myself thrown back into memories and reliving traumatic events. In the aftermath of healing from an incredibly harmful relationship, I began to see that same presence and influence in other relationships and situations in my life, which felt like reopening the wounds.
It took a while for me to feel safe in my Sanctuary again, and it was so hard to be patient and sit in the discomfort and inner turmoil. In the midst of this time, I had begun to see and hear the phrase “The Hermit” everywhere…in podcasts, on YouTube, etc. Some people were saying that this year, 2025, is a Hermit Year, and the more I looked into this concept, the more I related to it.
When I started diving into what a Hermit Year meant for me, everything changed. This new chapter, one of stillness and transition, suddenly felt like it had a purpose.
MASTERING THE ART OF THE PAUSE
Here’s part of a journal entry on what my Hermit Year means to me:
“I am feeling on the other side of the ‘lonely’ side of solitude, and can see so much clearer. The solitude, chosen and otherwise, has stripped away so much of what was comfortable and familiar, and removed the things I have hidden behind. I am feeling so much clearer, and feel like I can see reality and the truth.
Removing energetic hooks and ties has been an integral part of this process, and it hasn’t always been easy. Some I have been able to walk away from more joyfully than others, but all of it has been inspired by prompts of intuition and Spirit.
Loneliness can still come in waves, but largely my perspective on this time holds true, and feels incredibly poignant and divinely timed.
As a child, so much of my childhood was spent in solitude - it was from that cradle of stillness that my love of songwriting, improv playing and art, writing, and creating handmade things was born.
Now I can look back on that time with the Eyes and Heart of experience, and see how that time directly formed me and laid the foundation for who I am today. What an immense gift to be given a second time like this, especially at this age and time in my life!
What a bright future to look forward to!”
In closing:
In my Hermit Year, I now know that I have been given a tremendous gift. I have been given clearer eyes to see the reality of my life, and an opportunity to clear away old and unhealthy connections/situations/patterns - the blank space will be filled with that which cultivates my Joy. This liminal space is anointing me for a higher calling, and a higher way of being. This meaningful Pause is in direct correlation to the exciting next chapters of my life, which will not have as much space and time, but will overflow with Abundance. I have surrendered my life to the crucible of Spirit, and I now know that all things are being aligned for my greatest Good. <3